Bad Joke Mega-Thread

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Darth_Marques, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. Darth_Marques

    Darth_Marques Administrator Staff Member Administrator Premium

    [​IMG]
    I'm not looking to actually make this entire post, I'm looking for your help. I'll start with a bad joke, and everyone posts their own bad joke(s) that are not funny but funny for whatever reason.

    A Mexican magician told his audience he would disappear on the count of three.

    He began counting. "Uno...DOS..." *poof*

    He disappeared without a tres.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2015
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. Reaper

    Reaper Administrator Staff Member Administrator

    A bad pickup lines thread and I could make it go on forever. The things I've heard o_O
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Darth_Marques

    Darth_Marques Administrator Staff Member Administrator Premium

    I've got some Tinder convos with terrible pickup lines that actually worked. Wasn't sure if they were lucky (heh), or the other person had really really low standards lol.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Know Your Role

    Know Your Role Lieutenant

    70%
    How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.

    My friends tell me I'm too condescending. That means I talk down to people.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Reaper

    Reaper Administrator Staff Member Administrator

    I got a great one.

    I bought some rocket salad yesterday. It went off before I could eat it.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Darth_Marques

    Darth_Marques Administrator Staff Member Administrator Premium

    Eruca sativa?

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Reaper

    Reaper Administrator Staff Member Administrator

    Yeah lol, that's why it's actually kinda good. I liked it but everyone said it was terrible. Maybe they don't know rocket salad does exist.
     
  8. Darth_Marques

    Darth_Marques Administrator Staff Member Administrator Premium

    I'd heard of it before but couldn't remember the true name of it lol. Think they spell roquette but for the joke it has to be rocket lol.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Lunette Risch

    Lunette Risch Lieutenant

    50%
    Oh jeez I've got a million. XD
    Dad Jokes
    -I sat up all nigh wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
    -"Lost all my numbers, text me or message me!" "1234567890, that should be all of them, feel free to rearrange them!"
    -General Tso's Chicken from Asian King..7$
    Drink..1$
    Getting home and realizing Asian King forgot to give you one of you containers...rice less
    -I remember the first time I saw a universal remote..I thought,"Well this changes everything!"
    Yo Mama Jokes
    -Your mom is so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where her husband has two jobs
    -Your mom is so hairy the only language she speaks is Wookie
    -Your mom is so nasty she made Right Guard turn LEFT
    -Your mom is so nasty she made Speed Stick slow down
    Puns
    -Join the fight against the Metric System. Refuse to follow a foreign ruler!
    -No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.
    -If it's naptime and your child refuses to sleep, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. Darth_Marques

    Darth_Marques Administrator Staff Member Administrator Premium

    In the US, a guy died from lighting an artillery shell (firework) in the tube on his head.

    All I could think of that could be said at the funeral was "He went out with a bang."


    Another.

    I just let my wife know we need to tighten up on our spending. Everyone else should do the same. If 50 Cent isn't worth anything, we're all screwed.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Darth_Marques

    Darth_Marques Administrator Staff Member Administrator Premium

    I hereby declare this thread revived with this picture.

    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  12. Nova

    Nova Colonel

    100%

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